Monday, April 30, 2007

Subject: FINAL NOTIFICATION

Oh, look, I've won a lottery of some sort. Yippee! No more work for me. I can retire to a villa on the French Riviera and be fed seedless grapes by topless 19 year old girls with asses so tight and round you can bounce a quarter off of them. What, you say? It's a scam?! Goddammit!! [Shakes fist at the sky.]

The National Lottery
PO Box 1010
Liverpool
L70 1NL
United Kingdom.
Ref: XYC /26500460037/08
Batch: 74/00319/IPD


FINAL WINNING NOTIFICATION

Dear lucky winner,

We happily announce to you the draw (1068) of the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY,online Sweepstakes International program held on 4th march 2007 as part of our New Year Promotion. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number: 56475600545188 with Serial number 5368/02 drew the lucky numbers:07-10-22-24-34-44 (Bonus number 18) which subsequently won you the lottery in the 1st category.e match 6. You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of £2,532,137 (Two million, Five hundred ndThirty Two Thousand, One Hundred and Thirty Seven pounds sterling) ncash credited to fil XYC /26500460037/08.

This is from a cash prize of £2,532,137 (British Pounds) obviously to be taken by you, as the only winner in this category i.e. Match 6.. All Participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from a pool of over 25,000 names of distinguished professionals drawn from Europe, America, Asia, Australia, New Zealand, Middle-East, parts of Africa, and North & South America as part of our international promotions programme conducted twice weekly to encourage prospective overseas entries.

The internet emailing ideal was used, since most people are not able to purchase tickets and play outside the UK. We hope with part of your prize awards, you will take part in our subsequent lottery jackpots. This promotion takes place Twice weekly (Wednesdays and Saturday). The idea of this promotion is that within ten years from now, there will be notable richness amongst many unusual people around the world. This will give many people the opportunity to get their lives to a stage where they had always wanted. Kindly note that you will only be chosen in this online email promotions once, which means that subsequent weekly winnings will not get to you again, so its your choice to spend the funds wisely on something that will last you a long time. And please do not border following up this email, if you have benefited from this donation in previous years.

Note that your lucky winning number falls within our European booklet representative office in Europe as indicated in your play coupon. In view of this, your £2,532,137 (British Pounds) will be released to you by our payment office in UK. Our Fudiciary agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your funds as soon as you contact him. For security reasons,Our winners are assured of the utmost standards of confidentiality, and press anonymity until the end of proceedings, and beyond where they so desire. Be further advised to maintain the strictest level of confidentiality until the end of proceedings to circumvent problems associated with fraudulent claims. This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program.

Any lottery double claimdedected by our monitoring committee will lead to the Uk national lottery cacelling the winnings. making a loss for both the real winner, and the fake (intended) claimer.

To file for your claim, fill the winner verification form below and forward to the fudiciary agent immediately via email.

Agent Name:Smith Stanford
Email: uk_nationalclaimsagent007@yahoo.co.uk
Phone:+447035902574
Fax: +447075209549

VERIFICATION AND FUNDS RELEASE FORM
NAME...
AGE...
SEX...
ADDRESS
CITY....
EMAIL...
PHONE/FAX...
OCCUPATION...
NATIONALITY....
COMPANY...
COUNTRY...
Once again congratulations...
Cordially,
Sir George Arisson Online Co-ordinator
U.K NATIONAL LOTTERY
Sweepstakes International Program.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Subject: Remittance Director of National City Bank

This guy gets off on the wrong foot right away by calling me Dear.

Hello Dear,

I know you don't not know me in person, however I will want you to bear with me after reading my mail and be of good assistance to me. Of which you know bad people in this world has made us not to trust the good once again, but i really want you to trust me, because i always like truth and honesty in anything i am doing, and let truth and honesty be our watch word in this transaction.
For your information, my name is Mr. Ken Samuel , i am working in a Bank here in Côte D'Ivoire as the remittance director of our Bank. Be informed that i am writing you this proposal in regards to a trust transfer of the sum of $6,500,000 ( Six Million Five Hundren Thousand Dollars) That was deposited by one Late Dr. Richard Ahmend. And since he died nobody has come for the claims of the fund, so that is why i am writing you this proposal as the remittance director of our Bank, in order for you to make claims of the fund as a New Appointed Beneficiary to Late Dr. Richard Ahmend.
In addition, there is no risk in this transaction, all i need from you is for you to help me with a trustworthy account where i am going to transfer the fund into, and once the fund gets into your account, i am going to give you the sum of 30% for your assistance. So if you have agree to help me, do not fail to get back to me, in order for me to give you the full details on how the fund will be transferred into your account without any problem.

Best Regards,
Mr.Ken Samuel.
ken_samuel@myway.com

Changes

Yes, once again I'm changing the focus of this blog. At first it was simply my R&D blog where I'd experiment with layouts before I inflicted them on my real blog, then it was basically just ignored for a long time, then it was where I would post weird and incomprehensible (mostly computer generated) literary experiments of little or no interest to anybody (including myself), then it was ignored for a long time again, but now it's going to be where I post those 419 scam emails I find so fascinating. I'll probably also post other strange spam. But more than likely I'll end up ignoring it for long stretches of time like I usually end up doing.